So Valentine’s Day came and went and I didn’t feel like writing anything (more on that in my next post).
Also, I have mixed feelings about this romantic day.
First, it’s a commercialized Hallmark occasion. The price of roses is so much more leading up to Valentine’s Day than it is the week after.
Second, I’m married. This reason would be the exact same if I said, “second, I’m single.”
Why celebrate a stupid day with chocolates and roses and romance? I’m not trying to woo or court anyone.
I’m married, so whether we do those things or not, we’re still going to be married tomorrow
If I were single, I’d say, ‘I have no one to do those things with, so why would I be excited?’
It’s the same logic.
Valentine’s Day, This Day, Any Day
Valentine’s Day is only fun for little kids and new couples. The rest of us feel like it’s just another day.
Except like it or not, there is romance in the air.
Earlier, I said I had mixed feelings. It’s mixed because secretly I love Valentine’s Day.
People wear pink and red. People are nice to each other for no reason. So many things come heart-shaped.
I love pink. I love kindness. I love hearts. What’s not to love about Valentine’s Day?
Leading up to this day, I had a planned outfit (just tights with hearts and kisses on them, and whatever shirt was clean).
I had also helped my kids by making 35 Valentine’s cards for their classmates, plus a card for each of their teachers, and I made sure to prepare a Valentine’s snack for their classrooms.
I thought I did good, right?
Nope, I still failed.
It didn’t matter that I made each of those cards with paper, a fancy cutting machine, and glue.
I designed them; I didn’t just go to the store and buy whatever card was sold in packs of 20.
It didn’t matter that I bought each of my children’s classrooms a box of 50 Timbits, yes that was the snack I prepared.
It wasn’t an afterthought. It was intentional, and I had to head to the Tim Horton’s coffee house at 7am to make sure that the kids had their treat.
I failed because I forgot to buy my kids something. Actually, that’s why my daughter thinks I failed.
She asked where her Valentine’s Day gift was, and I explained that those cards and those Timbits came from my heart.
The look of disappointment on her face nearly broke me.
Nearly.
Are We Getting Greedily Expectant?
Where was my Valentine? I wasn’t expecting chocolates or roses or a date night with my husband.
We do that any time of the year; we don’t wait for mid-February.
No one made me a card though. A card would have been nice.
I designed all those cards for my kids’ friends, and yet my children didn’t think to do one for me.
That’s why I failed. I didn’t teach my kids the meaning of Valentine’s.
Side note, my husband actually tried over dinner once. He said that Saint Valentine tried to spread kindness but died by cannibalism.
That went over well (although he was wrong, he was actually beheaded in Rome).
Maybe none of us know the true meaning of Valentine’s Day and society (for society, read stores) is responsible for making it what it is.
Spending money on material things to impress people.
It’s depressing. If no one spends money on you, if no one tries to impress you in any way, it brings about loneliness. More so than any other day.
Last night, I was so depressed I shut down. I put my kids to bed and then shortly after, I crashed because I had no more energy.
My entire body was in pain and I could barely make it to bed. Once there, I didn’t move until morning. Not an inch.
I know this because I fell asleep with my phone on my chest (it’s my alarm clock), and I woke up with it still there.
How did it end that way?
It started so well! I was happy, wearing pink, being kind for no reason, and had a heart-shaped chocolate at work.
Everything was good, and then for no reason everything was bad.
We Are Our Own Valentine’s
For those of you who suffered yesterday, I’m so sorry.
It’s a stupid day, but we’re trained to want it anyway. If we don’t get cards, chocolates, or flowers, nobody loves us.
Nobody.
We know this isn’t true, but it’s not easy to explain this to our bodies.
This morning, I’m feeling much better, except there is still a physical pain in my chest and shoulders – no doubt, from carrying the weight of the world.
To my friends who suffered yesterday, feeling unloved or unwanted, this is my Valentine’s Day card to you.
It’s a food pun. I love food puns.
We are not alone, unloved, or unwanted. We are strong. We are brave. We’re in this together.
Continue to spread the love. Don’t stop because Valentine’s Day is over. Do it every day.
Maybe next year it won’t mean so much because we’ll be so full of love.
Maybe. If not, I’ll have more food puns and a house full of chocolate.