Do your friends ever add to your anxiety? Not on purpose, either – at least, I hope not! – but just through their otherwise well-intentioned actions?
I find this can be some of the worst anxiety around, as I don’t want to upset my friends – but at the same time, I need to look after my health.
Here’s an example, and one that I’m still trying to work through.
My new favourite ‘gadget’ is the stoneware. I can bake anything on stoneware and it’s easy to clean. So yeah, new fave.
Anyways, Pampered Chef isn’t cheap, but it’s not super expensive either, and it’s one of those direct selling things, so you can only buy it from a consultant.
Well, I’ve had my fair share of the direct-selling game, and it’s not for me.
No matter how much I love the product, and no matter how much I want to support other people, ‘sales’ is not something I love. It’s not even something I like.
In fact, it causes a huge amount of anxiety.
I’m all for supporting friends, and friends of friends… especially when the products are amazing (shout out to Thirty One, Mary Kay, Posh Gal, Pampered Chef, Norwex, Juice Plus, and this is just to name a few)… but why all the pressure?
I want to take a minute here to say, I’m not talking about pressure to buy. Because I don’t feel pressure to buy.
I buy what I want. I buy extra to support people. There’s no pressure there.
Let me step back a little and tell a brief story.
Anxiety Through Wanting to Help
I recently bought a big order from Pampered Chef. The consultant needed to sell “x” dollars by the end of the year, in order to earn a trip to Disney.
I wanted to support her. Clearly she had worked hard throughout the year to be that close to earning the trip in the first place.
I’d like to think that if roles were reversed, people would help me out too – however, in past experience, I know it doesn’t always work out that way.
Anyway, buying Pampered Chef to support a cause was fine by me. I ordered a lot, and yet somehow, managed to scale back my list of wants.
I mentioned to the consultant that I would host a virtual party for her, because I wanted to earn some discounts on some of the pricier items.
This was my idea. Up until this point, there was zero pressure anywhere.
It seemed like a good idea at the time. Virtual parties require no work on my end, and no pressure for anyone to buy anything.
You can come to the party, say nothing, appear anonymous, and choose whether or not you wish to purchase.
That’s what I was thinking anyway. When I attend virtual parties as a guest, that’s how I am. Sometimes I speak. Sometimes I don’t.
I most often buy something. If I’m really not interested, I usually don’t bother ‘attending’ the party in the first place.
Anyway, when it came time to actually hosting this Pampered Chef virtual party, I freaked out.
All the consultant asked me to do was invite 100 of my closest friends.
I don’t have 100 close friends. When I originally asked to host, I was thinking 10 people. So I invited 10 people and hoped she wouldn’t notice.
She asked again for me to invite 100 of my friends on Facebook. This is different.
Somehow it’s acknowledged that I don’t have 100 close friends, but I clearly know more than 100 people on Facebook, so why not invite them all?
I suppose I could. But this was causing me major anxiety.
I started to think about all the judgement I’d receive. All the glares people would be sending me through their computers. All the ‘remove friend’ buttons that would be clicked because I invited them to shop.
Because I was asking them to spend money.
I know in my heart, that none of that would happen. And if it did, then maybe they aren’t good friends to begin with.
Not Worth the Pressure
But I didn’t like the idea of pressuring people to come to my stupid party.
I think this stems back to my junior high school days when I’d throw parties (not very often, and always with parent approval). I’d invite people to my house to listen to music, eat junk, and chat.
That’s pretty much all junior high parties were. People would say yes, but no one would show up.
This was something I learned at a very early age. Don’t invite people.
Now I’ve been asked to invite 100 people. What if they all say no?
Or worse, what if they all say yes?
Great for the consultant, sure, but for me, I’m just picturing a virtual room with 100 people in it… 200 eyes. That’s a lot of eyes that are virtually staring at me.
This is when I start hyperventilating.
When I tell the consultant I can’t invite that many people, I feel like a failure.
There’s so much pressure. And we haven’t even got to the sales part yet, just the inviting part.
It’s funny, when I originally signed up for this, I was thinking about the discounts – but now, I’m almost willing to cancel the whole thing and pay full price… or just wait until someone else throws a party.
Why is it so hard?
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