In the last couple of posts, I’ve talked about quitting. I’m quitting writing – not all together, but reducing the number of blog posts.
I’ve talked about quitting some of my courses and quests – again, not all together, just postponing until I can get some other things (health and living arrangements) in check.
I’ve quit a lot of my hobbies too, but I know that I’ll pick them back up when time and space arises.
In addition to the things I’ve mentioned in posts past, I’ve also quit my diet, the gym, and all the groups I was a part of.
I am upset about quitting my diet, and I’d like to start that again. It has been hard to eat healthy when I don’t have access to a kitchen (upheaval due to renos and so forth).
I could still choose to eat better when I’m out, however, I have allergies that prevent me from trying new things.
Even salads are hard because if I don’t know what’s in the dressing with 100% certainty, I can’t have it.
Fried food is easiest because it’s basic ingredients, all fried… terrible for the health.
Anyway, within the next couple weeks, I should be back on track.
Overcoming the Lethargy of Stress
I stopped running, mostly because I’m tired. This is a bad sign. I’m lethargic because of my bad diet and stressful job.
It’s not like I’m doing much else. Yes, getting my house ready for sale is hard work, but that’s also been therapeutic, and to be fair, my husband has done most of it.
Helping him has been therapeutic, but I’ve also had to solo-parent while he does the hard stuff.
In the last post, I talked about how much relief one can get from postponing or quitting all together.
When I’ve quit groups that were causing unnecessary stress, I found it pretty satisfying to hand in my notice.
You can literally feel the weight being lifted from your shoulders when you get rid of the people in your life causing you unnecessary stress.
However, there is something to be said about quitting too much.
Without my running, and my healthy diet, and my need for learning new things – I pretty much have nothing for myself.
Yes, I still have my family who I adore being with, but there is no ‘me’ time.
I have time to myself, but don’t do anything with it. Occasionally I nap.
Sometimes I stare blankly and wonder what I should do, before I get up and join my kids in whatever they are doing.
What about me?
I’ve lost all the things that make me who I am.
I literally feel lost.
Lessons in Quitting
What I’ve learned? There’s a delicate balance between quitting things to feel relief and quitting too many things and feeling lost.
There’s a fine line between the two; it’s not easy to walk.
Lucky for me, I remember I like dancing. So I will dance back and forth around the line until I am able to walk it again.
I’ve made some mistakes, sure.
- It’s ok to quit.
- It’s ok to quit lots.
- It’s ok to make mistakes.
- It’s ok to start again.
Just don’t give up. Find the things that make you who you are. Allow those things to change naturally.
You’re allowed to love something and then not love it so much anymore… just make sure you find something else that you love.
Also remember, and this is a big note to self here, you do not need to replace all lost loved items with new loves.
It’s a delicate balance tip-toeing or dancing the line of self-love. Stay close to the line, and you’ll be alright.